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But it’s my emotional support turkey

Mothers of nursing babies are banned from flying into Australia with breast milk, unless it is retained within the originating boob, a reader was told.
“If it is pumped into any other container, other than my child, it will be confiscated. I plan to keep this news close to my chest,” the young mother told this columnist.
A colleague said he knew someone who tried to take a frozen turkey from Asia to Fiji as a Christmas gift. But the flight transited in Australia and the bird was confiscated.
I told him that these days you might be able to get away with it if the bird was alive and you claimed it was your “emotional support turkey”. Or would it? This writer contacted an aviation industry friend for comment. He said no. Ultra-liberal trends start in the West, falter as they try to cross Eastern Europe, but are totally rejected in Asia Pacific.
“Airlines in America are forced to allow passengers to bring ‘emotional support animals’ on board and there are campaigns to introduce this in Western Europe,” he said. “But Eastern European airlines have expressed reluctance and Asia Pacific airlines just laugh.”
He said that US law even protects air travellers who want to take multiple animals, “including pigs and miniature horses”. This columnist refused to believe that, but he emailed me a copy of the US Transportation Department policy document. It says (and I am not making this up): “Unusual animals such as miniature horses, pigs and monkeys should be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.”
One passenger can take multiple animals, the policy says: “You should make every reasonable effort to accommodate them in the cabin in accordance with part 382.” What if they don’t fit? You should relocate them where these is more space such as giving them “bulkhead seats”, it suggests.
Expect to hear the following conversation at a US airport departure gate one of these days: “Excuse me, sir, you cannot take that herd of wild horses on board the aircraft.”
“But they are my emotional support herd.”
“Ah, I see. In that case, have an upgrade. I’ll order the vegetarian option for them.”
This writer strongly approves of the extreme political correctness of liberal Western countries. For example, a news report said that a Canadian university cancelled a yoga class because yoga is Asian and “cultural appropriation is wrong”.
Dear Canadians, speaking on behalf of the population of Asia, I think I can say that we’ll be okay if you re-start yoga classes, but consider paying passing Asians a licensing fee for each student in each class. You can just toss the money out of the windows as we walk past. Thanks.
All this may sound silly, but that’s where the extreme political correctness leads. Case in point: A study by Scripps College and two other US institutions concluded that society should accept individuals who “identify as real vampires”. They should never be considered odd for their belief, since “they are born with it, somewhat akin to sexual orientation”.
Final thought: If your kids sound like a herd of wild horses on a flight, don’t be embarrassed. Somewhere in America, airline staff are buying nosebags and extra large pooper-scoopers.

(Nury Vittachi is an Asia-based frequent traveller. Send ideas and suggestions via his Facebook page)

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